The real writer behind Apple ads discovered

They say it’s the best product ever made. It has revolutionized life as we know it. While every lady is going ga ga over Steve Jobs and his achievement, the communication mastermind was lost in the design. You know apple products are the finest gadgets you’d find around. Some even call it a life form, without which, life would be so drab. But who told you about these masterpieces. You read about it. You’ve seen the commercials. But the punchlines, well they really packed a punch didn’t they? Very soon you’d know why.

He has been found. The copywriter who gave you these marvels. The real life Avengers assemble if you may call it. Thank him every time you call yourself a mactard. Or look down on someone when they have a non-apple device.

Chiat/Day had to really dig deep to find this gem. They met this superhero at a Rapid English Speaking Course. He was in the middle of accent training, playing with his long streaks of hair, twirling and straightening them alternatively. While this peculiar man grabbed their attention, they were unsure about his capabilities, but they offered him a job nonetheless. And that’s when he took to the stage and announced himself to the entire world. As his shirt unbuttoned itself, and his pelvic thrust knocked the daylights of the other students, he literally made time stop and delivered a punch line, “Mujhpe ek hi aisaan karna, ki mujhpe koi aisaan nahi karna”. The students were stunned. The Rapid English teachers were speechless. Chiat/Day couldn’t believe the impact he had. They also couldn’t believe their luck. There was a thunderous applause and a song too. After this great man catwalked or what he called dance, the CCO offered him a two-year contract. Mr. Mass Appeal, yes, hindi pun intended, accepted the offer but refused to sign. Puzzled, disturbed, scared and partly amused, the room turned silent. And then once again, this time with a reverb effect, he said, “Maine ek baar commitment kardi toh main apne aap ki bhi nahi sunta.” The impact those words had still echo in the hearts of the people present there. Mothers cried of pride. Young boys shat in their pants. Men had found their modern-day messiah. And Chiat/Day, a voice for this generation. They could already sense their victory. Their supremacy over the world.

Steve Jobs was standing confused in front of his closet. There were 23 black turtle neck t-shirts hanging for daylight, looking at each other. Each one was as confused as the next one. After 47 minutes of contemplation, Jobs chose the 11th one. The reason behind that is still unknown and research is underway. The publisher has promised to add this as well to this biography whenever they find an answer. Mr. Mass Appeal walked in wearing a satin shirt. Jobs was standing in front of the mirror with a comb. After a 48 hour discussion on hair weaving, Jobs, that guy from Chiat/Day and Mr. Mass Appeal began talk on the commercial to be aired at Superbowl in 1984. 38 seconds. That’s all it took for Mr. Accent to narrate the punchline. (He never wrote. He just said it. And it was written in the pages of history later). “You’ll see why 1984 won’t be like 1984”. That line is considered to be a classic. Or in modern terms, epic. As the accent got thicker, the design got slimmer, but the line, still packed a punch. A few years later, Mr. Mass Appeal was trying to call his girlfriend and failing miserably. After being accused of 40 missed calls, this technological challenged tag was showing up on his hairline. Receding by the day, he approached Steve with this problem who was trying to shred his bills through a gate. He had also broken a window by now. These two frustrated souls then walked into a bar. *pause*. After drinking for 4 days and talking to a black buck, Steve Jobs decided to have a white revolution. At first. “I’ll introduce a black version later”, he promised. Mr. Mass Appeal pleaded for something simple, something that even a layman could understand. The IPhone was discovered. This time around, Mr. Mass Appeal held the phone and cried for 3 minutes 40 seconds. And then he took off his shirt and said, “If you don’t have an Iphone, you don’t have an Iphone”. The world had changed by now. LOLs had taken over. Jobs at the peak of his career had one final straw to pull off. He called it an upgrade. Mr. Mass Appeal this time (successfully) called from the Iphone and over a con call he said, “This changes everything. Again”.

Steve Jobs passed away. So did these epic lines. But both these legends have left behind a legacy that will never stop to amaze. Or amuse.


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