A rant from the plane
It all starts with a sound. A heavy turbulent sound of the wings crushing the wind as they pass by! This is what we call the Aeroplane’s Buzz. Used brilliantly In Up in the Air, this buzz later becomes music to you. Resonating with the serenity of the heavens, the buzz above normal breathing levels sounds peaceful. You must be wondering, where am I going with this? And what this is all about. Well, what follows is a piece of my mind as I fly from Bangalore to Bombay. I’m seated near the emergency exit. I need leg space or else claustrophobia will come and bite me. And yes, the wing has got this beautiful perspective from the window. It embodies a stairway of sorts. My mind just did something funny with that sight. As we glided through the clouds, I pictured myself as some supernatural being, mind you, not a superhero, balancing myself on the edge of the wing. And yes, my posture resembled that of a surfer. I think in many ways, group surfing should be done on a plane wing. Just for kicks. Anyways, through my Tom Hanks idea of a different Cast Away, we transcended the clouds and got a birds view on the same. The plane is but a bird to the clouds.
And like all times, clouds have a way of fascinating me. Weren’t we all fascinated by clouds when we were young? Staring into that oblivion, trying to make shapes of the clouds above and live in our own world. Well…it’s like reliving the childhood. But only better. Because now you get to see them in HD and might I add, 3D. And the sight is breathtaking. It’s like you’ve discovered some sacred island or something like that. While the soundtrack of Indiana Jones rings in my head, we move from one kingdom to a series of many such spectacular sights. The real heavens housing societies if I may. It’s like a floating dream world with invisible creatures moving round the clock, whose motion is only visible at night (our day), when the clouds blanket them and take them forward. If I’m allowed to think out loud, is the plane like an unidentified flying object or bird? Are we aliens then? Hmm…that’s an interesting thought. All previous depictions show both parties with hands and feet, well…they must be real and we must be alien. But then again aliens are supposed to be the evolved ones…aahh irony you bitch!!
Of the coffee came, 40 bucks for one of the worst coffees I’ve ever had. I expected black coffee as usual, but then this was premixed with milk colour and water and not milk actually. Weakest. Coffee. Ever. Machine coffees suck and how.
Anyways, homecoming feels weird. Not really excited, not really disappointed either. I think I’ll do wonders on travel writing projects, savour all that one can and move on. But doing that alone would be sad. Need company. But this is where this gets tricky. Company should never be constant; it should have newness to it. Now this can be done with 1 partner or multiple. Either live like Anthony Bourdain or like Don Quixote, because being Chris Mccandless is exciting for a very short time, its lifespan is too short for comfort and eventually, it only translates into sadness. Because as Sean Penn said it, “happiness is best shared!” (were those the words, or am I wrongly confident to use quotes, oh, but I am expressing a doubt with brackets…oh drat!)
The sun sheds a morning light at well past 1. Reminds me of some lazy morning in the hillside where as Chris Pureka says, “Sun comes through the shade, lands on the ceiling, it came 93 million miles just to be here”. It’s a very warm sight. Makes you ponder on how certain lights determine the time and also act as mood drivers. The Egyptians were one hell of a race. Yes, race, I think it’s only fair to term them superior.
Ok, perspective switch.
From looking at the wing from the back window to looking at it from the emergency exit window itself, the previously established surfing board has now become a swimming jumping board cum free fall cliff. (Beavis: He wrote cum. *Stifled continuous laughter* ha ha ha ha ha ha) WOW. That’s what I just said to myself. In my stunned disbelief, all I can see for miles is the cloud bed. One level stretching for miles. Now picture this, running in full speed and surrendering yourself to the heaven only to fall on the softest cushion of them all. Sounds liberating!
Turbulent times are upon us. Satan saw me writing such good things about heaven, that out of pure envy, the bitch came to take revenge. The douchebag is now tickling the plane, and the plane is quivering. Though it’s tough to know if the quivering is pleasurable or no! Because the turbulence has this elegant sway to it. Damn, Satan is playing dirty games, and I never knew he was a Planeophile. Ok, this para was a load of bull crap. But I had fun writing it. So, I’ll retain it. I wonder why anyone hasn’t thought of making Satan as Gabbar. Naah…i know now. The thought lasted for 5 seconds before I disliked my own idea.
The Ears have opened up. The sound is that of a bee squealing for help though. And yet it gives relief. Irony, the bitch strikes again. Empire who? Ha ha ha…ok, bad humour. Holy crap on a cracker. Just when I said empire who, satan has struck again. Turbulence again.
And now they’re asking me to shut the ‘electronic equipment’. Got to go!!