It all started with me humming lover lay down by DMB and walking towards my colleagues. I fired a cigarette and then the madness began.
P.s. What follows is a very graphic description of events unfolding. Read it at your own discretion. Parent’s guidance might get ugly for you.
The words came from a fellow writer’s mouth as we were discussing an ugly faced hottie he had spotted in the morning. JLO like body he said. And the face was “ayyo”. So, after the “have u ever felt your cock invert” statement, I actually pictured it. Because that’s what we writers do. Picture the gross things. Actually picture everything. So, my mind took me on this tangent. The Inverted Cock Syndrome. I should call it ICS . Sounds cool. This should become a part of everyday lingo. There could be porn humour done. Even a satire on impotency or ugly women. Oh don’t get all feminist on me now. It’s just a thought. But try to picture it…will the trunk retort or will it actually curl back, curl back sounds painful. Maybe there is something to learn from Kegel exercises.
The same colleague was baffled at the lack of research done on Giraffes. And again, this went on a sexual tangent. It started with a weird thought of a leopard humping a camel. To that, I thought, how would it be to see a Giraffe giving a blowjob without bending. I can only see birds and monkeys getting lucky. Though I think a female Ostrich is the best mating partner for a Giraffe. Now come on, don’t tell me Giraffes are the faithful kind. There isn’t much research done, apparently. What if they are clandestine. Being the tallest, they might have a huge trunk, and the Ostrich too deserves a full size. I’m sure he must be called the “tripod of the tribe” or something like that.
God – The Dirty Player
The following is pure genius of my colleague. He and his friend were having a weird discussion over beers. They believe God played a dirty trick on Adam. He made Adam and put him in the most beautiful place in the universe – The Garden of Eden. Adam was lonely and bored as he had not learned to interact with animals then. And as Darwin later proved, every living being was made from a cell. So, Eve in extension was born from Adam. His ribs for instance, to aid him and be his ‘General Entertainment’. So, he humped her till kingdom came. But since Eve has the same cell structure as Adam, her cunt or his hand were almost the same. So, coitus was nothing but an act of masturbation.
On that tale, I thought, no wonder he ate an apple. Men were foodies right from Adam’s age. We thank you Adam, you gave our taste buds what they truly deserve – Different delectable tastes. No pun intended. Actually, on second thoughts, pun intended.
While smoking, an old man was passing by, he stopped and asked me to quit smoking. He further added this is injurious to my lungs and harmful to others around me.
To that I acknowledged his advice by nodding and smoking, while the colleague gestured an action of self-pleasure (not directly at him though).
While many ghosts stories were discussed, i’ll be noting only the funniest one here. It happened with the same colleague, while studying for a Math paper at a friends place, everyday around midnight, he along with his friends spotted someone emerging from a darkness under a street lamp and disappear in the nearby village. After repeated sightings, two brave souls decided to unravel the mystery. The remaining friends could not see the bike. And the brave souls did not return after 15 minutes. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. All were getting tensed. They finally returned after 45 minutes. All were worried and more importantly curious. To that, they said, nothing man, A bloke comes out every might to poop and then goes back. Ha ha ha ha.
Two smokes got over. And so has this blog entry.